My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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