i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize