White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
