I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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