We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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