There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
