he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize