I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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