Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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