we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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