True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
