You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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