meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
