he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
