would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
