We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
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Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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