i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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