They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
