just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
