I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
