She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
