Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
