i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize