Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
