Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
