we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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