I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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