I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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