He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
