You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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