Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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