Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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