Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
