oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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