I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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