SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
