Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
