there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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