Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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