Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
