she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
