I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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