I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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