I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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