I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
