i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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