I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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