Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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