And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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