But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
