me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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