What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
