Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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