This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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