youre lurking in front of me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
