We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize