I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
