2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
