sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
