the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize