Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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