Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
