My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
where does the pee come out of this thing
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
