no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
