from now on my penis is your penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
